Dancing My Way to Bliss.

Me and my friends dancing our crazy dance at a friends' birthday party last year. :D

                   

To all those with so called 'two left feet', who love to prance around anyway, here's a high five, and my tale. Though I'm here, finally learning the twists and taps and turns of dance at 21 [they call it chasse and passe at class since I'm learning jazz], there's a lot that finally got me to doing it, eventually. 

           Almost two months into learning dance, or jazz (well, it's not so much about the dance form here, yet), I only wish I had picked this up earlier. To see people balance themselves, take graceful jumps and bends, as I enter the studio each time, with such agility, only makes my heart longingly yearn for the day when my dance movements would be as graceful, eased and something that comes naturally to me.  

                                   From my earliest recollections, I have only loved to dance. Till I was 5 or 6 though, I just wouldn't agree to dance on some song that an aunt or my parents would prod me to. In school, I would never miss auditioning for all dance events and competitions- be it for dancing on a patriotic song for Independence Day celebrations, or a jazzy number to perform on Teachers' Day. However, I would be chucked from the auditions, each and every time, right till I was class XI or so. Shamelessly enough, I would try again, getting auditioned, and eliminated by the same people. :P Thinking myself a 'hilarious' dancer, I would dance in the funniest ways possible, happy that it made my classmates laugh, and think that was going to be my best attempt at dance ever. So the only times I would actually dance used to be in the washroom with my earphones on, knowing I can dance only for ten-fifteen minutes before mom starts to wonder what I'm doing in the washroom. :P 

                    College arrived, and luckily enough I found this gang of four friends who loved to (and still do) dance for the fun of it. So when classes would get cancelled, which is so typical of DU, we'd bolt the classroom door, play all kinds of songs on our phones at high volume, and dance away to glory, standing on benches, and near the professor's podium. The steps were C-R-A-Z-Y. Thanks to our impromptu dancing sprees at college, I learnt I wasn't the horrible dancer I always thought I was. :P At a birthday party or a stayover at a friends', I would get complimented for my dance. I continued to dance when no one would be home, or at night, with doors shut, lights off. One fine day, the lights went on. I began to sway, twist and tap, in front of the mirror, seeing myself dance, for the first time in 19-20 years. 

                     I tend to visualize the happiest of sights when listening to music, and it's only very recently that I realized a few things. I would dance in my visualizations, I would do a random, cheery jig when happy for an XYZ reason. I would often imagine myself dancing away, enthralling one and all with my performance, in the college auditorium. Yet I would hesitate to dance freely. And it was only now that one day, in my hours of boredom, the thought struck me. Having realized that this was one thing that gave me such immense joy, something I had always loved doing, and yet never dared to do- it was only foolish to dance behind shut doors, with lights off. Then, Danceworx happened. Being the grammar and spelling nazi that I am, (the X in Danceworz greatly disturbed me) I'd wonder how the ambience there would be. Boy, am I impressed with the pains that the instructors take to ensure that each of us give it our best shot. More importantly, that we dance, no matter how muddled in the head we may be about the steps.  
Which is what I did all these years. 

                     With the dance studio falling on the way back home from office everyday, I have this strong impulse, every day, to ask the auto driver to halt the auto in front of the place. To pay him off, jump out of the auto, and run into the studio, start dancing wearing my office clothes. Indeed, many a time, I am only a thought away from actually doing this. And I might just do it one of these days. And on days I do go for classes after nine hours of work, I am brimming with enthusiasm, and just too eager to reach the fourth floor and start to dance along with everyone after dropping my office bags. 


                        Indeed, dancing amidst and with people makes a difference, rather it is what makes all the difference, I have realized. To know that dancing makes you happy is wonderful, but to dance with ten others, is to celebrate the thrill of dancing in its true spirit! 

The Gift of Gratitude.

Gratitude, that started on a spurt,
Ought to be taken with a pinch of salt.
For it was never heartfelt in the first place,
But merely, a wandering minds' somersault.
Rather than conveying your indebtedness 
Before an idol every day.
Let each soul who counts in your life,
Know that they'll matter still, today and every day. 

Balancing oneself on the vicissitudes of life,
One begins to realise, 
That to count things to be grateful for
Even in this serendipitous present moment, 
Is like counting stars in the sky- 
Some you spot, many you never can.
Funnily enough, each time we pray, 
That animated bundle of wishes for the future, 
Already has taken flight, before we express gratitude
For all the joys that came, went or stayed. 

For joys are but ephemeral bubbles, whereas 
Thankfulness encompasses what was, is, and will be.
Yes, it is the bigger gift; of realization.
That one moment, which makes
The innumerable moments gone by dearer, 
Than the happiest sketches of one's imagination.

Gratitude lies in reciprocation, 
To yourself, to another, to the universe.
It lies in caressing awaited joys, 
While nestling present pleasures.
Maybe it is, a state of mind, 
An affectionate glance, a careless smile.
And not a five-minute long,
Fifty-two word prayer's monotone at night.

At once freeing and limiting- You're happy at first,
To realise someone makes you happy,
Before you're already taken aback, 
As you stumble upon the fact, 
That for you, they'll always deserve more
Than you could ever offer them in turn.

Gratitude is, dancing the dance of dilemma
Humming along the chaotic choir of cacophonies.
Extending your hand to the coy caresses of joy,
Lazing behind Your hazy curtain of dreams,
Where earlier,
Eager in anticipation though, You stood stiff
With fear now and then lurking near,
Each time you were letting out a prayer.



P.S. What is gratitude, after all? This poem is but one aspect of it. Indeed, there is no start nor an end to this beautiful emotion. For me, thanking the universe for the joys that are yet to come, also counts as thankfulness. Then again, it could be gratitude for your own self, or for the happiness of another. Or being grateful for the fact that to someone, your presence in his or her life matters. It's about becoming a giver, from being a seeker at first. It's a feeling one can and should cherish at all times. Not for the bad things that could have happened to you but didn't, or for things you want in the future, but for you things, people, thoughts, ideas that you do have, right now. And indeed, once you start counting, you can never stop. Have we ever tried, counting, though? =)