A Case of Mistaken Victory

That day, a spark of vitality
Shot out in the garb of giggles 
Of innocent wonder.
From giving comforting smiles to afraid souls
To the disappointment of knowing,
Not every smile can be met with another in turn.
Because for some, sleep1
Is perhaps the closest they know of smiling.
(While some have perpetually stuck to nonchalance.)
He thought he would always be this happy
On seeing anybody happy.

Choked on his tears he did eventually, one day.
For the first time, something that happened to him; 
Affected him. 
He bore it beyond the juncture he could. 
Born of this trait
He could only again start to build faith
His heart could only start to heal again.
Maybe That was his fatal flaw.2
With time, manifestations took hold
Like crippling infestations.
Pregnant with possibilities, killing him-
A little every night, Each time he believed
For that instant, that this was him.
The gnawing wouldn't let him sleep.
Waking up would be the start
Of another nightmare.
Nabbed, asphyxiated,
The web of gloom had finally won over 
His embittered heart.
He had since been dead from within.
Maybe not dead enough to 
Be called a corpse.
He had given up by then.
(What, was it too early? Or too late? Who could ever claim to know!?)3

I'd see that spark blaze forth,
Then and now, 
Reminded of stars, 
Those scattered shards of light
Dead for eons
They fascinate still, then and now,
A pair of curious eyes 
In another corner of the universe.
Strange is it?

Those fervent emissions  

Gave me wisdom worth a lifetime.

Yes, I was once bereft of hope, too.

Funny, ain't it,

I have your struggle to thank 

For my survival.

I have emerged victorious vicariously 

From your sufferings.

Roses on your grave 

Shall be my salute to you.

What is stranger, is that, 

Unbeknownst to you,

You prompted a definite turn 

Inward though, a turn to eternal truth

And I, who now claims 

To live life anew

Has yet not been able to

Do the same for you.
Oh, how I slept that night in years,
Thinking I had won. 
A mistaken victory is only a curse befriended, 
friend.


Sleep - Sleep could mean death, it could mean dreams, it could also be the literal meaning itself.
Fatal flaw - Using the term here purposely to make the event appear all the more tragic & ironic.
(What, was it. . . claim to know!?) - someone who hasn't been in his shoes cannot comment on if he gave up too soon or not. Nor could he himself. For he did not know if joys or miseries awaited him.