Talking Trash.

For those who can write away pages after pages on something they were asked to, or on something they have strong views on, but fall short of uttering more than a string of disconnected words, when in front of a bunch of people- Maybe, because you've forever been like that, not being able to/wanting to speak out what your views are on a certain topic being discussed. Maybe you've struggled, each time, visualised yourself speaking away to glory, and even receiving a raving applause from the very handful people around who were so used to not seeing you speak, so used to not having noticed you. But you realised it doesn't come that easy. Times are, when you stop yourself from saying something that came to your mind, because you feared it'll sound lame, and a minute later, your friend says the same thing, and you get guffaws of laughter from all around, and you're plain angry at her/him for having stolen your 15 seconds of fame. :P

               Then you see people around you, talking nineteen to the dozen. Colleagues, neighbours, friends. Family? Does the same happen when you're home, too? Here, I am not trying to assert that you're smart only if you can chatter away at the drop of a hat, anywhere, anytime. Having the gift of the gab is a great deal valuable indeed. Then, after sulking over your mouth-taped condition in public, when you eventually go back to just listening to what people have to say, how different people respond. And, you realise that many of them, or maybe some of them, are talking away trash, saying stuff for the sake of it, just to keep the conversation going. So, there are many, who're as clueless as to where the conversation's headed, but make sure to speak in then and now, so their presence is noted. Also, there is no such thing as you having to be correct all the time, in all that you say. Whereas, many such people, take gulps each time they utter their 'opinions'. What I am trying to convey, here, is aptly summed up by what my friend had to say, a few months back.

"The question is not whether you're a jerk or not. Of course, you are. Everybody's a jerk, to some extent. The real question is just how concentrated you are. Even big jerks are easy to deal with if they're dilute enough."

 So ultimately, what seems to be catching everyone's fancy, is the presentation, the portrayal, rather than the content. If you're a soft-spoken soul taking a shot at debating, chances are you'll end up feeling nauseated and yet again be so taken in by what the opponent has to say that you're in a fix again when you realise that you're expected to say something, to defend your stance, next. The very same evening, though, you may be talking non-stop with your bunch of close buddies. In front of new faces, you just can't come up with a new question to ask, or something to say, to what's already being discussed. Starts right from childhood, when there's peals of laughter and delight if a toddler recites an entire poem correctly, accompanied with claps that mark 'appreciation'. I remember the same being asked of me when my parents scuttled from school to school for my admission to school. Ashamed and scared back then that I couldn't splutter out a handful of words when asked simple questions, that my parents had prepared me to answer with quite some style and panache, I am quite happy with how I have fared till now, in that respect. At the same time, when I now talk to people whom I knew for years, but never exchanged a word with before, I am astounded each time someone says I seemed an arrogant/mean/proud person to them. Because those who know me would probably not count me as mean or arrogant, hopefully. :D And then I'm back to wishing I were one of those who could just start off a conversation and be the one who did most of the talking even in front of  unfamiliar faces. Though am glad such yearnings don't last long. For now, am happy enough that I talk more than I ever did, years back. And it feels better. But Nothing feels better than coming back to this space, and writing away something, hoping each time, that it'll strike a chord with all of you reading it, and you'll laugh at a thing or two. Enough to make me happy for now, I guess? :)