Delhi, It's Not Time to Boast; Yet.

                                 So, the Aadhar card acknowledges transgenders as citizens of this country, with 1600- odd UID Cards having been issued recently in Delhi to the minority community. This brings an emphasis on. .  equality? This word was etched is the Constitution decades back but every few years, the Govt. seems to reach a higher moment of epiphany when they think they have finally cracked the meaning of the very word 'equality'. Why else do members of the transgender community not have prerequisites for applying for the UID Card, like ration cards, passports and so on? Because they have felt apprehensive to go procure the same all these years. Some officials go on to ask for documents that state that they are transgender.

                                 The question is, what percentage of the actual population of the community has applied for the UID Card, and how many of them shall actually receive the same someday. But let's not just talk about the Govt.'s slumber wrt realizing what equality implies. Right since we've been kids, we know the notions about them that have floated in the form of furtive glances and cynical whispers. The superstition, cynicism ceases to die. On one hand we condemn the death of the anti-superstition activist Dr. Dabholkar, on the other hand we continue to harbour and internalize notions from birth to death. Too soon for a self pat on the back, no?

When Hackeratti Hit Me :/

So I'm one of the latest recent victims of the mulling crowd of the hackeratti gang out there. Just when I thought these five-six years of my virtual existence 'Oh my account would never get hacked. Why would someone ever hack my account?' as I'd recline in my chair complacently, after setting the same password for the n number of accounts that I created on multiple sites, for my convenience, thinking that hacking is majorly an act of vengeance. But this 'convenience' had to turn into a reprieve eventually, and it did. Yesterday, as my virtual world came crashing down (quite literally :P), I realized I was the foolish one. To think hackers really choose their targets after much thought and pondering. If they really did that, why would they ever resort to hacking someone's account in the first place? For a hacker may be respected amongst his friends, but is hacking a rational act?


                    Thankfully, my Facebook account got restored thanks to my friend's prompt help. Though while he was trying to log in and secure my account, two others were simultaneously trying to access my account. I'd just started heaving a long sigh of relief when my phone beeped with the alarm error message that my Gmail ain't getting logged in. I tried 5 times via my phone. Once I was home, I realized that in frustration at the fact that the guy failed to hack my Facebook account while nearly succeeding at it, he decided to attack my Gmail. And I had inadvertently made his task easier, because I had the same password for Facebook, Gmail, Yahoo, bookmyshow, and what not. Thankfully, Mr. Hacker did not venture to hack all my other accounts. Guess he thought he'd proven his cyber virility by hacking my Gmail. Sigh. When doing such measly things on the virtual world makes you proud is the day one should jump to death. And yes, till yesterday evening, I was least concerned with issues like hacking and cyber-crime, but here I am, hoping I miraculously get to know the brainchild behind this hacking spree operation so I can hack him to death in real. Okay, that's just me being dramatic. Point being, if you're one of those lazy-asses like me, go change your passwords pronto! Though I wonder if in today's times, anyone would take a risk like that anymore. 



            But guess what the funniest thing is? My home's wi-fi connection has been aptly named 'Hack It If You Can' by me. I think it's time to change it, lest it sparks off a crazy rush in some hacker-neighbour to hack my wi-fi next.  :P Then, I won't even be able to vent my anger via the internet. :D

A LETTER TO GOD

When you're down in the dumps,
And people tell you,
'Others have problems too, you're not the only one.' 
Does it reduce your problem's gravity?

When people refuse flat on my face for something,
[the ones we have expectations from]
Oughn't I feel vengeful?
Can I be blamed for it?

Pity and sympathy are bad. They make a person feel
Even worse about oneself.
Why can't the 'wellwishers' try & help the person instead? 
In order to express their concern better? 

They talk of karma on one hand, sufferings for past sins. 
A new life/birth is a new beginning. 
Then why suffer for prior mistakes?
Shouldn't bygones be bygones?

When it's a bad phase going on endlessly,
Does having faith really matter?
Because what has to happen, will happen. 
Or do you make gradations in your 'destiny',  
Depending on whether we have faith?

If circumstances make me do something
Unexpected of me,
Would I no longer remain the nice person I was for you once?

Yes if you have created the world, and you have planned everything,
Then why didn't you make things all hunky-dory here;
Such that we all would be happy, and so would you?
Sounded too mundane to you, eh?

Wherefrom does the scope of redemption come
If a person turns agnostic after a spate of hardships?
Is your 'Plan' for us so grand that we can never ever decipher it?
Does it still leave us on friendly terms?
Does it not distance me from you?


Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could just turn up,
In front of someone who really needed a pat on the back from you,
In order to move on in life?

Preoccupations with one's problems leaves one with no scope for 
Attaining a 'higher perspective' about life.
So then where do forbearance and contentment come from in troubled times?

P.S. I wrote this around two years back, this ain't verse nor prose strictly, it's just a bunch of questions I'd penned down over a period of time. Questions we all end up asking while drifting through the vicissitudes of life. These questions should Never turn into a state of mind. As for me I'm an eternal optimist. =D 
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Pinning Life Down

An unending journey of growth it is, they say.
From kindergarten to crutches, years swept away.
Alphabets become scoldings.
Don't put your hand near the candle-flame, they say.

When this journey becomes a perpetual run away from life itself,
Because you're trying to fit in all the while,
Trying to be a good son, a good student, father, worker.
Does that suffice for you?

You create your own destiny, they say.
Is that big house you built the manifestation of that?
Have goals, rules, benchmarks taken over feelings and Life itself?
Is this evolution a devolution in disguise?

The realm of the quotidian is a trap.
You'll start living the day you'll remember
There was nothing to break free from or to abide by
Rubbing your eyes as you welcome the sunlight and love
Into your life blinding, yet
Brimming with the essence of Life.

The Burden of Hope

The promise of Fate lands in your sight.
You exult, with eyes shut tight,
Arms stretched out to the sky.
Trying to grasp the future in this present moment

The veil of time binds, yet separates
The present and the anticipated future event
That you ardently await.
And you thought Knowledge always gave you strength?

In the midst of planning your life all over again,              [Some think they can.]
When memories strike, nightmares jolt you;
Where do you exist?
In the past, present, Or the cusp of perpetual pain?

We're Friends Again. =)

Well, I didn't decide to write about this here thinking 'Oh this will be a terrific blog post, so let's do it!' This is about what I was like, what I did, a couple of years back in school.

I excelled at academics till I was in class IV or so, till which I had observed that many of the friends I had, were there because I was one of the toppers. Some would draw cards for me on my birthday. As my grades started to drop from class IV on, I lost those 'friends' of mine. I lost confidence too, and then the friends I made in V, VI, VII weren't exactly 'friendly' either, I was generally made fun of, one day a friend who was my partner too in class, said to me that she would ask our class teacher, Ma'am Patsy to find her a new class partner, because her mother had said to her that 'If you mingle with students who're poor at studies, you'll become like them.' I was aghast, however I took that with a pinch of salt. This was in class V.


                 I found a great friend in Insha, in class VII, on most days both of us would scuttle off to some new spot in the school and discuss teachers and laugh about ten things. She didn't make it to class VIII, whereas mine was a case of conditional promotion. When the session commenced after the results, I don't know what came over me, I started avoiding Insha during recess every day, sticking instead to the 'group' that I had. I wasn't too happy about this bunch of buddies I had either, since I knew I couldn't trust them, that they secretly mocked at me, but having a group to boast of gave me some ridiculous assurance at that point of time. She didn't say anything, we never talked after that. But, I never had the guts to look into her eyes after that first day I moved past her during recess.

                                I always planned to write her an apology letter, till we were in school. Even at those times, I'd not have enough courage to own up and admit that I had purposely ignored her years back. I'd keep thinking I'll write something like, 'Another friend spread some rumours about you and I ended up believing her, you know!' Out of nowhere, yesterday, while recollecting my days at school, thinking about how I didn't really have much of a personality till I was in class XI, considering my focus was on making friends [didn't think so much about good and not genuine friends then, didn't really have a choice.], I ended up remembering Insha again. About how she was this one friend I could confide in always. One friend I could bank on. And I'd let her down. That she said not a word made me feel doubly ashamed. I realised I couldn't undo that one thing anyway, and the least I could do was to write her an apology, this time stating the truth, why I did it. Funny how I always wanted a good friend, in school, and when I had one, I didn't respect our friendship, I lost her. Today, I sent her an apology, and I feel lighter.


                                          Today, I am glad I am no longer a shadow who'll cower under another's presence, and be moulded by his influence. I make friends, I respect them, make sure Others do, I don't think twice before glaring at someone who's too keen on giving my friend a hard time. This is a confession to myself because I finally decided to tell her the truth, to accept it myself too- what led me to avoid her way back in school. The difference between then and now is, that in school, I had very few genuine friends [before Std XI], though I wanted one badly; today I have many, genuine, frank, concerned friends, and I am grateful that they are a part of my life. Whether it's a pen friend I talk to occasionally, or the girl who's on my speed dial list, my friends are for eternity, a lifetime is too short a span to spend with such wonderful persons. I'll end by saying, if at all you've let a friend down at some point, make it up to them TODAY, it's Never 'too late' to win a friend back, or atleast let them know what you meant/mean to them. Who knows, somewhere in their heart, they might let out a profound sigh, and a nostalgic smile. =)

30th August:

P.S. I am friends with Insha again! Thank God and thank you for reading. :D